A Blogger Manifesto Revisited … or what to wear to a schism

Lest we become so serious we miss the forest from the seas. Just remember what happened to Screwtape when the Girlfriend laughed at him.

We matter immensely. We realize that thousands of you await our daily reports of the latest outrages by the church we all love so very much. We work hard to provide those reports, even when the outrages are the standard fare of life in any mainline Protestant denomination, or have no clear relation to Anglicanism. We know that outrage prompts action — action that untold previous generations of Episcopalians lacked the backbone to take.

BB NOTE: Hmmm … but what we’re really interested in is Episcopal fashion. What does one wear at a time like this?

We are the new media. We do not report so much as loudly type near-transcripts during press conferences and upload PDFs of documents leaked by courageous bishops. We also offer our brilliantly snarky commentary whenever church leaders gather to make decisions. Our crucial importance as the new media is reaffirmed every time a bishop all but threatens disciplinary action against anyone who dares to read our blog.

BB NOTE:
But isn’t it far more important to support our Millinery?

We are courageous. While other self-styled conservatives think only of ways to preserve their positions of comfort, we show the fortitude to speak the truth in love. If we think you’re a heretic, we will not mince words. We are in your face, and the Lord Jesus would have it no other way.

BB NOTE: But possessing the correct shoes for all occasions might be even better.

We make people mad. This is one way we know we’re serving God faithfully. Our harsh critics may protest that we lack Christian charity, or that we presume too much about what motivates other people, but we know that’s because they lack adequate experience with hearing the truth spoken in love.

BB NOTE: But You-Know-Who wears Prada.

We love The Lord of the Rings, in case you hadn’t noticed, because it helps us make sense of our valorous resistance to the Episcopal Church and the Archbishop of Canterbury. We think that if J.R.R. Tolkien were aware of how much his work inspires us, he would take the longest drag off his pipe, smile like a contented hobbit, and then nod sagely and create interlocking smoke rings.

BB NOTE: And the outfits were great.

We remain Episcopalians, for the most part (well, sort of), but we consider it a scandal that other people will not discuss the moral imperative of leaving the Episcopal Church. They may call it ecclesiology, but we call it wimpishness. We know how very much has been accomplished over so many decades by people threatening to leave.

BB NOTE: Yet the most pressing question still remains – do we wear gloves with the hat or just get our hair done?

We see things more clearly than most other Episcopalians. We have, after all, been in this conflict for five long years. With such concentrated perseverance comes a wisdom that sees past the timid misgivings of those who have worked for Episcopal renewal for decades.

BB NOTE: And the outfits are great.

Our thanks to
Doug LeBlanc,

comrade behind the lines,
who indeed was “so much older then,
he’s younger than that now.