JUST IN: The news traveled fast around the global blogosphere this afternoon when it was learned that The Elves, those tireless and dedicated mysterious beings that lurk undetected inside internet blog pages and remain invisible to the human eye, were missing. Yes, missing. It was a shaken Kendall Harmon who made the troubling discovery when suddenly the comments at Titus One Nine veered so far off topic that posters were in a drop down drag out gutter fight over whether the Pillsbury Dough Boy was theologically superior to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Where were the Elves? Were they ambushed and taken away in the night, accused that the entire Anglican Communion Crisis is all their fault? If it weren’t for the Elves, who would know who Kenneth Kearon is? No Elves, no news.
And where was Binky? Binky, The Great and Powerful, who’s very name is feared throughout all of North America. Binky – who was one of the Pioneers of Anglican blogging. Binky, who’s very name sparks dread in the hearts of the Usual Suspects. In fact, the residents at 815 dare not even speak his name (when asked, they always say “Who?”). Binky is the scary elf – one never knows where Binky and his followers may suddenly appear. Is that Binky there behind the spotted potted palm? Is that Elfgirl – there in the shadows taking notes? And what about all those other elves whose names are yet unknown? All the elves seem to know the future – and even worse, never forget the past.
Where were Binky and the Elves?
The Canterbury Commune Bus hit the road, with Rowan at the wheel and following the lead of the Anglican Elf Tracker (AET) they went north. It was many hours of winding roads that led to who know’s where – when suddenly Kendall, now joined by Mike Daley up on the roof of the bus, shouted that the Elf Tracker had a hit.
They were just passing through Nottingham when the AET indicated that there were Anglican Elves at “Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem,” which some say is the oldest pub in England. As the psychedelic bus pulled up in front of the old village pub, it was clear the sound of singing could be heard clear out the street. Yes, the Elves were singing – as elves often do.
But what were they doing in Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem? Kendall and Mike had to to find out:
Soon Rowan and all the Bloggers poured out of the Canterbury Commune Bus and joined them in Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, reunited once again with the Elves, friend and foe alike. And Binky and the Elves led everyone in song, as they had always wanted to do. And with everyone lifting their candles high and swaying to the music, all in a happy glow, Binky and the Elves led everyone to sing:
And all was quite well, quite well indeed …
Until someone mentioned Marshmallow Man.